What ACEs/PCEs do you have?
There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. (There are many others…see below.) Five are personal — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect. Five are related to other family members: a parent who’s an alcoholic, a mother who’s a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and experiencing divorce of parents. Each type of trauma counts as one. So a person who’s been physically abused, with one alcoholic parent, and a mother who was beaten up has an ACE score of three.
10 often overlooked traits of genuinely happy people - Lachlan Brown
Happiness is elusive. We all want it, but it seems to slip through our fingers no matter how hard we chase it.
But what if we’re looking for happiness in all the wrong places?
What if the key to true happiness is not in grandiose, Instagram-worthy moments, but in the small, everyday signs that we’re actually, genuinely happy?
Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry - George S. Everly, Jr. PhD, ABPP, FACLP
Regret and shame often result from feelings of guilt.
Guilt is a sense of culpability that can be helpful or devastating in one's life.
When you make a mistake, own it. Correct it if you can, then let it go. Here's how.
Are YOU a narcissist? Psychologist reveals three questions that will identify whether you have personality type - Dr Monica O'Neal
Boston-based psychologist Dr Monica O'Neal developed a short narcissism quiz
She based it on theories developed by famed psychologist Nancy McWilliams
Narcissists, she says, feel 'shame and discomfort' with basic human emotions
Her quiz touches on basic human vulnerabilities such as 'love and comfort'
Why most men don’t have enough close friends - Madeline Holcombe
Less than half of men report being satisfied with their friendships, and only about 1 in 5 said they had received emotional support from a friend in the last week, compared with 4 in 10 women, according to a 2021 survey from the Survey Center on American Life.
4 Questions to Ask for Better Conversations - Chuck Wisner
Every day we engage in conversations rooted in ritual and social norms. With no conscious effort, we shift from one role to another. One minute, I’m a husband happily cooking breakfast with his wife. Shortly after, I’m meeting a client for lunch as a trusted advisor. And at the end of the day, I’m having cocktails with a friend as a confidant. No matter who we’re interacting with, our emotions, wants, worries, and judgments are embedded in each conversation.
5 Key Lessons from the Study of Forgiveness - Robert Enright Ph.D.
Growth in the moral virtues has been de-emphasized in philosophy and in psychotherapy.
Yet when clients are given the opportunity to forgive those who have hurt them, this new therapeutic approach can be very healing for clients.
Perhaps it is time to re-examine the ancient tradition of encouraging people to grow in the moral virtues, particularly forgiveness, when hurt.
Abnormal structure or function of the amygdala is a common component of neurodevelopmental disorders - Cynthia M. Schumann et.al.
The amygdala, perhaps more than any other brain region, has been implicated in numerous neuropsychiatric and neurodevelopmental disorders. It is part of a system initially evolved to detect dangers in the environment and modulate subsequent responses, which can profoundly influence human behavior. If its threshold is set too low, normally benign aspects of the environment are perceived as dangers, interactions are limited, and anxiety may arise. If set too high, risk taking increases and inappropriate sociality may occur.
3 Sad Ways A Traumatic Childhood Stops You From Having Healthy Relationships - Life Counseling Solutions
Childhood is the prime time for brain development and the time when people typically learn to have healthy attachments and a stable sense of love and security.
But, when a person experiences something traumatic during childhood, it can interrupt their brain development and change their sense of healthy relationships.
The Neuroscience of Respect - Gregg Ward
When you feel disrespected by someone else, your Reptilian brain perceives that behavior toward you as a threat, even if its behavior that the person doing it thinks is perfectly respectful. Within less than a second, your self-preservation instincts kick in and the fight, flight, freeze response is triggered. Then, that threat warning is quickly passed onto your Limbic system, which is centered within a very important part of your brain called the Amygdala, an organ that some of us have heard about and most of us have trouble pronouncing.
The Secret to Happiness Is Helping Others - Jenny Santi
There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” For centuries, the greatest thinkers have suggested the same thing: Happiness is found in helping others.
The Psychology of Feeling Unloved - Glenn Geher Ph.D.
Going back to the work of Abraham Maslow, behavioral scientists have found lots of evidence for the importance of love in one's life.
Feeling unloved is, just as Maslow suggested, a wretched feeling that stunts growth and happiness.
Finding love, which comes in all kinds of varieties, is, without question, an essential part of the human lived experience.
The Keys to Self-Love - Robert N. Johansen Ph.D.
Loving yourself usually requires having some concept of who you are.
The nuts and bolts of self-love may have their greatest usefulness, and their most difficult application, on the landscape of a relationship.
Other-love may come in direct proportion to self-love.
Want to Experience Greater Well-Being? Try a Little Awe - Beth Kurland Ph.D.
Experiencing awe has benefits for our psychological and physical well-being.
We need not wait for grand events to find awe. We can be intentional about looking for moments of awe in our everyday experiences.
The power of awe may extend well beyond the experienced event itself and have more lasting beneficial effects.
Lifelong impact of adverse childhood experiences is a message for us all - Sheila Wayman
Children are being misdiagnosed with personality or behavioural disorders when in fact they are suffering from the effects of trauma.
To wonder what happened to someone instead of what’s wrong with them can be a transformative shift in mindset not only for healthcare workers, teachers, social workers and policymakers but for anybody who considers themselves capable of compassion.
Why Mattering Is So Important to Our Mental Health - Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD, ABPP
Mattering is the general belief that you are important to others. "Anti-mattering" means that you feel you just don't matter at all.
New research developing the 5-item Anti-Mattering Scale shows how people high in this quality can be vulnerable to mental health disorders.
Learning to recognize anti-mattering in yourself can be an important first step to overcoming loneliness.
What Is Remothering, and Why Is it Important? - Annie Wright LMFT
We form our patterns, beliefs, and ways of being in the world in response to the environment and the relationships around us.
Sometimes this may mean being wounded because of our early environment and relationships, including those with our father and/or mother.
Specifically, wounds from our relationship with our mother can often arise when we have/had a mother in our childhood and adolescence who couldn’t meet most (or any) of our mental, emotional, or physical needs.
Why Some People Have Issues With Men: Misandry - Anthony Synnott Ph.D.
The word misandry may not be in everyone's computer dictionary, but the reality is out there. A reality without a name, however, is largely invisible.
We are all familiar with misogyny: the hatred of women. This has been well-researched for decades. We are less familiar with misandry: the hatred of men, or more broadly, the hatred, fear, anger, and contempt of men.
How to Love Yourself For Real, According to Therapists - Amanda McCracken
Think of self-love as a practice, not a destination—and define it for yourself.
Know that you don’t have to love your reality in order to love (or accept, or forgive) yourself.
Challenge your negative mental narrative by sticking to the facts.
Acknowledge that oppression and trauma can make self-love even more challenging.
Practice setting boundaries—in real life and online—to build self-worth.
Remind yourself that loving—or at least accepting—yourself is a worthwhile pursuit.