You’re Forgiven. Come Home

Forgiveness is highly rated. Some say the key.

I say it is highly overrated. Why? What difference does it make to forgive someone? Does it make the victim any less a victim? No. In fact, all too often just the opposite. How many abused women forgive and then get beaten again?

What’s needed is accepting, not forgiving. Accepting the other is the way they are and not expecting forgiveness will make any difference. Instead, build appropriate boundaries so one doesn’t live as a victim of the past in fear and instead lives empowered in the present.

The real power in forgiveness comes from forgiving oneself. It starts with amends. Have I done all I can to remedy the past to ease the wound and preclude future wounding? If yes, then without regard to forgiveness from another, forgive yourself. For everything ever. Once and for all.

Clean the slate and commit in doing so to keep it clean. Reclaim your innocence. No matter what you are guilty of from the past.

We can’t change the past. We can manage the present.