Grief

It’s possible many if not all of us are grieving. “Grieving what?” you might ask. All that fell short of expectations. All I did that I shouldn’t have - guilt. All I didn’t do that I should have - opportunity lost. All that was done to me that I wish wasn’t - shame. All that wasn’t done for me that I wish had - longing. When these things did or didn’t happen to another we might have empathy but nothing like when it is about me.

In effect we are victims of our grief. It sneaks in whenever the door opens and we let it in. We pine for what was or wasn’t and should have been and isn’t.

I ask you: “What good does it do? How is it making me a better man or helping me have a better life?” It isn’t. In fact, it’s consuming emotional energy better spent in other ways.

What then? How to let it go? Why let it go? That’s easy. I’ll like myself a whole lot more. I’ll be a whole lot less unhappy. I might even become happy. And, certainly a better man.

Forgive. I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about forgiveness. All too often forgiveness is about forgiving others and being forgiven. However, the real power of forgiveness is when we forgive ourselves. Wipe the slate clean. Embrace your inherent goodness. Commit to your innocence. Now. From now on. Can’t change the past. Can’t heal all wounds. Can close the door and stop leaving it open to shame, guilt, sorrow.

Do it. It’s best done with the support of got your back friends: the men of Great Guys.