Me, Too.

Possibly the two most powerful words along my journey were: “Me, too.”

I had just shared my deepest darkest most shameful secret not about my past but about my present, what I am doing right now. It’s one thing to distance yourself from your past. Much tougher to acknowledge what is happening right now.

When I did, my buddy, Steve, looked at me and simply said: “Me, too.” There it was. I wasn’t broken. It was unforgiveable. Not a sin. Just a quirk. Just a brain rut that I was stuck in and hadn’t yet figured my way out of. Still haven’t. But now there is no shame associated with it. I just accept when it comes up. Welcome it: “Hi, there you are again.” And, am grateful for: “Wow, it’s been a long time. How’ve you been? I’ve been well.”

Thanks, Steve.

What I’m saying is: possibly the most loving thing one man can say to another is: “Me, too!” We carry a ton of shame and guilt. A lot of it is not just what we did, but what we are doing inside our heads, what we think. Some of it is a bad habit. We think we are broken, defective. We hide it from everyone fearful of being judged. When we can share it in a non-judgmental men’s group and discover we aren’t broken, all that energy that’s been keeping it locked up is set free for greater good. “Me, too!” does all that. “Me, too” says I’m not a freak. I’m not broken. It’s ok. I’m ok. I can accept that part of myself that I think maybe isn’t optimal and just is.

I hope no-one thinks in any way this post is meant to detract from #me-too.