Bad Dog!
When I scold my dog, I say: “Bad Dog!”
What makes him bad? What is bad?
Right and wrong is about following the rules. You take a test. If you learned the material well, you get the answers right. You then get a good grade. Why good, not right? Praise is why. Praise vs shame. Good and bad goes to a higher standard: one that may not be defined by rules. It addresses what I am rather than what I did.
Doing bad means being bad to someone. Someone suffers as a result. Someone’s humanity is denied.
So, my dog isn’t a bad dog, he’s a wrong dog and I think by telling him he is bad the shame will have a bigger corrective impact, which of course it won’t. Not on him like it did on me.
It’s the tone of my voice, the rejection or anger that scares him into compliance. People aren’t any different. I learned it the same way as we all do: growing up.