Writing Tickets to Unenforceable Rules - Dr. Frederic Luskin
When feeling powerless, I can't think straight. It's not just I don't think straight. It's that I can't think straight when coming from my wounded story.
COMMON UNENFORCEABLE RULES
My Partner Has to Be Faithful
People Must Not Lie to Me
Life Should Be Fair
People Have to Treat Me with Kindness or Care in the Way I Want
My Life Has to Be Easy
My Past Should Have Been Different Than It Was
My Parents Should Have Treated Me Better
Fred Luskin in Forgive for Good suggests:
SIX STEPS TO CHALLENGE YOUR UNENFORCEABLE RULES:
Recognize that you feel hurt , angry , alienated , depressed , or hopeless .
Acknowledge that your feelings may be from memories of the past but that you experience the feelings in the present .
Remind yourself that you feel bad because you are trying to enforce an unenforceable rule .
Assert your willingness to challenge your unenforceable rule .
Find your unenforceable rule by asking yourself the following question : “ What experiences in my life am I thinking of right now that I am demanding to be different ? ”
In your mind change from demanding you get what you want to hoping you get what you want . Notice that when you wish or hope things be the way you want , then you think more clearly and feel more peaceful .
